By Dr. Lovegood
Idealist parents are a lot less common than Guardian and Artisan parents. The stereotypes of Idealist parents could often be one of the other temperaments - the artsy type, the flake, the nurturer, the believe-in-you-no-matter-what type, the emotional blackmailer and so on. An Idealist's desire for intuitive introspection can be incomprehensible to many Guardians, annoying to Artisans, and an invasion of privacy for Rationals.
Idealist parents are generally the best of all parents at finding and encouraging their children's unique abilities. While many parents are good at encouraging their children, Idealists are especially gifted in figuring out what to nurture and encourage. They are also the most likely to be able to 'read' their children's minds and have a good idea of what is going on inside each of their children. This can lead to trouble since they will at times 'read' incorrectly and then react based on what they think is happening. This can be avoided by talking to the child to confirm or modify an intuition before acting on it. A person fortunate enough to be brought up in a mature Idealist's home generally has a strong sense of who they really are, a validation of themselves and their dreams, and an emotional sensitivity to others.
Some of the potential problems for Idealist parents include excessive emotionalism and discipline which is loose or inconsistent. They may take their child's problems too personally and react too strongly, perhaps trying to solve their child's problems for them. Discipline is a tough issue for Idealists because they want to treat each child individually. They can have a hard time knowing if a particular excuse is valid and are likely to let their children get away with quite a bit since they want to avoid being harsh.
Here are some tips on how to communicate effectively with your Idealist parent. Avoid values conflicts. Try to fit what you are wanting or needing in terms of your parent's values. If you fight with them on their values, you'll lose the battle and the war. Remember, they have had a lot more time than you have to develop their beliefs. They have good reasons for their values (maybe some bad ones too). Find and respect those reasons.
The thing that makes an Idealist parent the happiest is when their children open up and talk to them about their most important beliefs, ideas, dreams, values, etc. Sharing intimately with your parent is the easiest way to communicate effectively with them. You can then ask for almost anything and get it, especially if you can show how what you are asking for will cause you to develop as a person.
Finding Your Passion or What Makes a Job Right for You?
Idealists - Finding Meaning and Unique Identity
In this five-part series, we're examining each personality type and job fit. Idealists are the most likely of all types to resonate with the Boomer phrase, "Finding Your Passion." Idealists strive to find Meaning and Unique Identity in their lives.
The Idealists are the group most attuned to values and seeking the greater good. Famous Idealists are Martin Luther King, Jr., Mahatma Ghandi, and Oprah Winfrey.
Of all the Idealists, the Teacher (ENFJ) is the most likely to seek leadership positions in the private or public sector. The Teacher is drawn to careers in education or social services, such as college professor, high school teacher, social worker, or non-profit director. In business they are often trainers, sales managers, recruiters, or executives. Since they are good at building relationships, they may be fund raisers or recruiters. They also are found in jobs such as a health advisor, clergy, facilitator, or counselor. Says Rene, "It's very important to me to really connect with my students. I need to feel that I am making a difference in their lives."
The Counselor (INFJ) is a more private person than the Teacher. They, too, can be found in the field of education as a professor , teacher, counselor, or educational consultant. Sometimes they feel a strong calling toward the religious life as clergy, nun, or director of religious education. Social service jobs, such as social worker, social scientist, or mediator can fit their needs. Some Counselors work in human services, marketing, or as a job analyst. Others are drawn to the arts as a novelist, designer, or artist. Says Benito, "My art is very personal. It expresses who I am at the same time reaching out to draw the viewer in. My art changes the viewer's perspective of reality."
People naturally confide in the Champion (ENFP). That's why they make such good mediators, counselors, teachers, consultants, and reporters. Any position that outreaches to others can fit the Champion. They can be columnists, journalists, publicists, copy writers, advertising account executives. In the arts they can be character actors, cartoonists, art educators. If they choose jobs such as restaurateur, be sure that their business sites will be unique and designed for a particular type of customer. Don't be surprised to see them as an inventor. This type of personality wants to experience the whole of life and may change careers more often than many other types. Says Charles, "I've had a number of jobs and when there is nothing left to create, I move to something new. I want my life to be spiced with newness, love, and joy."
The most sensitive of the Idealists is the Healer (INFP). While their list of jobs may echo that of other Idealists, they are more drawn to express their own unique vision of the world than all other types, so their work cannot help but be unique. They interpret their visions in the world of music, art, entertainment, or dance. As a professor or teacher, counselor or social worker, they often unlock the mysteries of life for those they encounter. In business they are drawn to organizational development and human resources careers. They may have a religious calling or seek work as a librarian. Their careers need to be in alignment with their personal values. Says Kay, "I chose health education so I could touch the lives of others to help them make better choices about their lives. I know I've done some good."
All Idealists seek to have a life of meaning, to help themselves and others grow to be the best that they can be. They do not want to be a copycat of someone else, but want to be seen as a unique and valuable individual.
People want to have a life that gives them a sense of personal satisfaction. Here are links for the other three temperaments:
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